What I DO know.....

The scariest period of my life seems to be this. Even the thought of quiting my job and becoming a full-time entrepreneur, itself, is shaking. And the worst part of is, I do not want to get into any conventional business. Ventures in all of its forms, are risky by nature. They say, the smartest of all, get into established businesses, like franchises. Those who are less-smart, get into service industry. For those who belong to the first group, return-on-investment is immediate. For those in the second gang, at least they have the prospect of a customer, and once the service is delivered, the prospect of getting paid.
And there is a third crowd. The stupidest of all. Who believe that, opening a franchising is not challenging enough. They believe, service-based-industry is not creative and thus not satisfying.
They are so stupid that, they want to create something that has never existed before and sell it for a price. So misunderstood, that they think, they might really make a dent in the universe. So misled that, they expect others to follow them. Entreprenures all have special bones in their body. We seem to have an extra one.
For us, the worst nightmare of all, is the thought that of leaving the security that the employer offers. Because, we DO NOT know, what would happen to us. We DO NOT know if at all the venture would succeed. We DO NOT know when it is going to pay off. It could be years.

But we DO know that, the day we decide to start off, there will no longer be any paycheques. We DO know that, there will no longer be any paid vacations or holidays. There will no longer be any sick leaves. What we DO know is, on that same day, our expenses are going to go up. From the coffees that we drink to the paperclips that we use, for everything, we will have to pay from our wallet. What we DO know is, on that very day, our confidence level is going to go down. What we DO know is, that day onwards, we are gonig to be extremely lonely. No more professional friends. No more coffee-time-chit-chats. No more flirting. No more Firday-Night-Movies. No more PIZZA parties. No more Birthday Celebrations. We DO know that, the whole world might probably be getting ahead of you in life.

We DO know all these..... But as I said, we are stupid.

A bag full of dreams

I am a salesman. And I sell dreams. I walk around with a bag full of dreams. I open it up to anyone and everyone and show them how beautiful they are. And then I ask them do you want to have my dreams ? Do you want to share them ?

I always wonder, how 'great teams' work ? How 'great teams' sustain. Conflicts arise all the time even within a group of friends and we all know how hard it is to tackle even the silliest of problems. Putting that into perspective, what would be the answer to my question, how 'great teams' build up themselves. The answer, to me, is , they all share the same bag of dreams. It is like, each and every member having the very same dream, but is just unaware of that fact. It appears like, every other member of the team is working for your dream. And still each one believes that, its his dream and his dream only.

I sell dreams. As with all salesmen, I get rejected all the time. I get beaten up on the street. I get discouraged in the eve, everyday. And I promise myself, I wouldn't do it again. But with every new sunrise, I get up and start selling again. Because every morning, I say this to myself. "This is what you are. This is where you belong. This is the only thing that you have. ... a bag full of dreams..."

May be I am going home.......

Bidding good-bye is hard. Especially when you are the one who is leaving. Others have at least each other. It is even harder, when you have to go to a place where you have never been before. Where you have no friends. I never believed myself that I was born to settile down at one place. May be I never beleived that I was born for this place. I always had a dream of wandering about without purpose. But when I actually had to live my dream, when I actually had to leave a place and my friends, I really was having a hard time. And on the very last day, I was wishing If never had to go. Well, may be I dont have to think that way. Philosophy says, every single atom of our body was once part of dirty dust. And one day it is again going to be a part of the same dirty dust. Flying in the air. So may be I am not going anywhere. May be I am going home.

People destined to lift the lives of others..........

The world is a boring place. Lacks variety. We are all surrounded by people just like us. Mediocre people with mediocre lifestyle, with mediocre dreams. Its like walking in a crowd. Though we are independent and alone, we are all part of that very crowd. Leading extremely similar life ,working 10 hour jobs, having the same old hobbies and eating the same lunch from the very same canteen.
And then,one day, you see someone. Someone who is so different. Talking to that person is like talking to a 'Guru'. Someone who knows the art of life. He would encourage you to ask questions that you do not have answers for. He would elevate your thinking in such a way that, once again in your life, you want to do something more. Something different and amazing. He would challenge your beliefs and teach you the value of free-thinking. He would take you to the paramount of happiness, the feeling that you know only as a child. He would tell you that, its you and your dreams, that are important. He would lift your lives more than anyone else.
These are hard times. But in times like these, you seem a few of them. Stepping forward. Those who are destined to lift lives of others.

Show me that...Defend that... Celebrate that......

I have always believed in destiny. I've always trusted in a higher calling. I have always imagined myself, first getting spoiled with money and luxury and women and then, after, having that higher calling, something that is larger than life. And then, I choose to leave everything behind, that a normal man would ever desire for, in his life. But so far, I never got spoiled enough and now I am starting to see that I might never recognize a calling.
But what exactly is a calling? Is it something that you experience while may be during and after a lethal accident ? Knowing that life is so fragile and there is no surety about tomorrow and whatever you want to do, you have to do it now. Or is it the feeling that you are so special and you are supposed to lead on and the whole world is just waiting to follow you ? I guess I will never know. There are things we are always too young to understand.
Well may be, just may be, calling is what you feel, when you see a beautiful kid out in the street carrying trash. It proabably is the feeling of responsibility,you feel towards someone you do not even know. It probably is the wish to care about that helpless angel. May be it is knowing that, you need to do something to change what is wrong out there.
But we all, including me, are much more comfortable ignoring these higher callings. May be we need so much courage to pursue such a calling. Well God says, "show me what you care about.....defend what you believe in.........celebrate your doings.............."

Story of my relationships with truth

Before starting to write anything about my relationships, I want to blame the society for every mistake I made. I want to blame the educational system for the lack of philosophy as a subject(which i think is very important for anyone who passes through a bad relaionship). I want to blame our ancestors for creating so called rules of life, demanding us to bahave in a particular fashion in any relationship.

The one thing I have always noticed is, we think the same way, before and after a relationship. We consider ourselves wiser than,those who are in a relationship. Before and After a relationship, we look at those,who are in a relationship, and wonder, how can someone possibly talk to one single person , over the phone,for 5 hrs in one shot. What can someone possibly talk about for 5 hours......or more important how can someone possibly listen to one single boring voice for 5 hours.

Yet I have found myself doing that, while i was in a relationship. And I dont know about others, but, those 5 hours used to be the most insecure period on any day. Insecure to the extend that, I used to end up uttering "I love you", a few dozen times, in a couple of hours. Like, if I dont repeat those magic words in every 108 minutes, (courtesy to LOST series) , something really bad might happen.

But relationships are beautiful and that is the very reason why, your first relatinship changes your perpective. Till your first attachment, you were free and happy. And then you experience something new in a relationship. And then you break up. Now it is near impossible to go back to your first phase of being attached to noone. You are going to think about and dream about and feel sorry about the one you broke up with, And sometimes you are even going to blame your ' ex' for all the problems in your life. Till you are in a new relationship. And when you are, suddenly it is too easy for you to forgive and forget your first mate. And they say, time cures everything. Well I think it is our ego. We need someone who is good enough to admire us. We need the concept of 'that someone' to boost our ego. To reconfirm ourselves that, we are important too. Then we name the relatioinship with 'that someone' as 'marriage' or 'love'. Just to make sure that, 'that someone' will always be there to admire you. As long as it is 'two-way ego boosting' , the relationship will last. The moment it shifts from 'two way boosting' to 'one-way-responsibility', the colour of the relationship changes.

Being critical doesnt mean, I am immune to any of these. I have been into relationships and i am sure thsoe things will happen again. But I know that, this is the only way to live life to the fullest. Falling hard sometimes and standing up again.

I'm a fake geek and I love coffee

"Many times people think you are crazy....
But in that craziness....we see genious......"

Now whenever you want to use that quote, remember... there is always one perfect way of telling things........
Drop your head while you are uttering the first sentence......if you do......all the girls around will look at you....and will love your weekness...
Take a pause then......take a gasp.....now show that you are in control.......and now speak out the second sentence.......


I have always found these two sentences way too much powerful than any other, to end a presentation or speech....To show your passion.......to show that you are different......

Whenever I had to leave one place, I have always sensed a defining moment. While I pack up things, I notice that, I am so mobile...All the things I have ever earned, purchased, hold dear and couldnt live without ....can fit in a medium sized bag and a small kit. And again, while I am walking, carrying that bag-full-of-my-things, I realize, its me and me only, that really matters.....my dreams and my passion..........Those are the words I used to hear from my uncles while I was a child, but couldnt understand what did it really mean or thought I would spend so much time thinking about those words and their meaning ..........now walking across the street, in that solitude, the moment you feel that you might just get enlightend, I have a feeling.......being like this, without any bonds, any commitments is not a very bad idea......may be being able to walk like this is a gift.......may be being able to miss the last bus to home and never care about it, is a blessing.

And it was in one of those moments, that I figured out, how much my coffee machine means to me. I am a crazy coffee lover. I drink a min of 8-10 cups of coffee a day. Way too much than anyone I know.

And if i get to spend the night in the office, the number might touch 15. Coffee means too much to me. So does coffee machine. And probably becuase of that very fact, I had decided to bring in a big coffee machine, the very day I rented a two room apartment for my company office. And I have found it always fascinating, to drink coffee alone, late in the night or early in the morning. I would love to go to the balcony and feel the fresh wind while drinking hot brewing coffee. Experience the feeling that the whole world sleeps while I am awake.

After writing this much, I gave this page to one of my best friends to have a look. Just to see, whether I sounded like a wise-ass....or can I make it the best seller of the year....And she said...."its good" ....Just good ?....no comments....no criticism........no suggestions.....?comeon......I was really trying to write something that noone can really understand...........and she says.."its good"....can be translated to ...."it sucks"....

Well never mind..........women have always been mysterious to me, though I would really love to crack the code and be the one who has that "gift" of really knowing what women want.....Sometimes I even get to believe that I have finally deciphered the code and have fully understood the psychology of women, what they want and how they want.....Just to find out the next day that they allowed me to decipher that code the way they really wanted it to be deciphered.....

There is a story about a knight in King Arthurs' round table, who is the only one in history who happened to have the power, of knowing what women really want ,from a wizard. And in his words it is so simple. "just let her decide what she wants" .........starnge enough...but that is what she wants.

As simple as it might sound, how many among male breed are able to follow that simple rule. I have been into relationships and I can say with confidece that its near impossible. She herself makes it difficult for us. She tries on a new cloth and asks me "how does it look?" Ideally, following the only rule I have, I should say "what do you think ?" Then she might say " i think it should be darker".....or "hmmmm.......it is good but it might not match with my blue jeans" ......

That was the ideal outcome....noone is hurt.....no fight.......exactly what that woman wanted. But would I do that.........almost never........I would say........."it looks great on you"......comeon you stupid....basic rule....'The Woman' wouldnt try her favourite, the first time......................and when the next time she tries, the one, she really liked, when she really wants to hear that "you look extremely beautiful in that dress" .... I would go like " I think the last one was better" .......dear god.......she anyway is going to take what she wants.........why dont I let her do that.........

Back to my coffeemachine. (women have a very strange way of getting you out of the track)

During the day, I would like to have coffee with my friends and collegues. I dont really want to drink alone. Since many of my friends dont understand the real intention behind the repeated question, " would you like to have a cup of coffee" , I am really having a hard time getting them to drink coffee. I want to talk and share ideas and ask my favourite (though boring) question. What would you really want to do in this life. That is a question, I know for sure, that noone has an answer for. Including me. And yet I find it so important to have an answer for. May be noone can really find answer for that question. May be searching for an answer is the real answer. May be redefining yourself every moment is what you just need to do, to be happy.

But as much as everyone finds that question, boring, how can one possibly live in this world without knowing the reason behind his/her existance. How can anyone survive, at least even thinking or trying to find an answer to it. You may or may not belive in destiny, or Karma. But isnt that a basic question ? What the hell are we doing everyday if we dont know what we are built to do.