Can this possibly be a mission statement ?

I wrote this one year ago. I wanted to write a mission statement. And instead of that, I ended up writing a statement of values. Here we go !!

"I am not a management graduate. I have never written a mission statement before or never googled on the format of a killing statement. Yet I believe, for what it is worth, I have something to say. I want to try to tell the world that, it is time to have a higher standard. Not just professionally, but by all means, by all depths, in personal and social life.

A wise lady once told me, “Always have time to jump ahead in your life to the very last and look at the very situation you are in, at the moment. If you laugh, then it is funny, if you cry, it is beautiful. If you want to come back and change it, then you know what to do. ” Well, I guess the point is, ‘having no regrets’ at the end. And being content for the moment. Life is too small to be afraid of anything. Too small to push, things that you want to do now, for later.

Having said that, what we want to do, solely depend on what we want to be. And in my opinion it is impossible to define the mission of an organization, until we do it for a human being. For all of his/her roles in life. We have done enough sleep-walking already. Now it is time for us to raise the bar to a level which could re-define history. Let’s be extraordinary.

We are going to spend quite a good part of our life, at our profession. Doing our jobs. Chiselling our skills, learning new technologies, managing people, inspiring them to perform better. The only way we can be happy at our work life, is by doing your job the way you want to do it. Only when the complete infrastructure is available to you to do the work, but with enough freedom to actually do it. When you have the freedom to be creative, and be different and innovative.

The duty of an iDuple Citizen, for his own sake, is to be free and creative. Everyday life is going to be extremely fulfilling, if you engage in building something that has never existed before.

No matter how independent we can or want to work, we are all part of one team. And as with all teams, we are going to have to interact with our colleagues on a day-to-day basis. I would not support the idea of, having a particular behaviour inside the organisation and a different one outside. Our attitude towards others must show what we essentially are. And that must derive from our sense of freedom and compassion and definitely guided by our conscience.

Our definitions for freedom and equality are clouded by the assumptions that are imposed upon us by our culture and environments. For a moment, just imagine that we are born again, and are now allowed to choose everything that has a choice. I sincerely believe that, most of us would go with Buddhism for a religion, democracy for a political inclination and most of them would favour equality across race and sex. Our religious beliefs would be based on love for another human being, and political inclination based on respecting the choice of the masses. We would not even think for a moment that, just because someone’s colour is different, he/she should be deprived their freedom. We would not imagine that she being a woman would give us the right to take advantage of her. Let our conscience govern our actions.

The world is still a mess. There are still lots and lots of things to be completed. Lots of unfinished business. Lets choose not to ignore it. Lets help cleaning up the mess. Even if it might mean, educating every single child in a fantastic way and cleaning up every inner street. Just the way we are responsible for our family, let’s be responsible for the world.

I would say, we can tell a lot about a person, by simply studying how one is with his/her friends. High standards in personal life, would, really mean, as they say ‘running the extra mile’, for your friend or someone you really care about. The friendship that we are used to, probably doesn’t mean, jumping into the fire to save him/her. That is simply too unrealistic. [My apologies to the exceptions]. For what it is worth, I definitely hate the tone of this statement. But having said that, it is also not probable to face the above situation in our lifetime. Let’s give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Most of the times, we happen to be there for our friends by accident, when they really need us. Let’s change that. Let’s watch over our friends. Let’s ask if they are comfortable and happy. Let’s ask if we could walk with them. Let’s put a conscious effort to make them feel special. Let’s make them laugh.

May be it is too early to talk about families. But I have always wondered about the magical power of marriage. Although it seems too easy for anyone to get married in this world, one question always bothered me. How can I possibly convince someone, to spend rest of her life with me? I could be the greatest man in the world. But against what I am asking for, everything seems so small. And I cannot imagine the responsibility that would bring upon me. No matter how much you do, it is never going to be enough. This goes with everyone in this world. We are all so busy asking, expecting things from each other. For a change, why don’t we think of things we can give?

It probably is 'Winter' out there. But with the words that we speak, with the faces that we show, and with the actions that we do, let's make it a 'Beautiful Spring'.

Jerry is under a lot of pressure… you know…Sometimes they just don’t laugh.

First of all, for those who do not know who Jerry Seinfeld is – He is, or rather was, a stand-up-comedian. Who stands in front of a big crowd and keeps on telling jokes for a couple of hours. His ultimate goal, and the success of his career depends on whether people laugh at his jokes.
I definitely am not a stand-up-comedian. But I guess I know what it feels like, on his shoes. And I presume, almost all boys would know. We have all tried to make HER laugh [with or without much success] .Still, I am not sure how and when we started believing -‘women like funny men’.
Just like Jerry, we are all under a lot of pressure while pursuing this goal. Sometimes they just don’t laugh. Sometimes they give a tough look, “try harder you stupid”.
Worse, and I hate this the most, sometimes they give you a sympathy smile. Like we are all born incapable of making any jokes of her standard. And almost always, the sympathy smile follows with a topic change. And that’s how you know that it was a sympathy smile.
One good news there, is that women are not originally funny. Of course they do try sometimes, but most of the time they are busy playing target. And there is another type, who would defend your well-intended joke with logic. Before you even realize it, you are in an extremely intellectual argument with her.
Someone once said, superman is the funniest person on this planet. He has super power, super intelligence, super speed. He must be having super sense of humour. Imagine a day, when the world no longer needs superman. All the bad guys are behind bars and people don’t really care about technology or advancements where intelligence is required. The only thing that superman can now sell is his humour. Superman is not that a cool guy anymore. He is standing on the platform, sweating all over, trying to make us laugh. Well, sometimes, we just don’t laugh.

Dreams ….. Sir……I sell …dreams

Entrepreneurial-ship is hard. I had found out that in two weeks.[or was that too late ?]. My huge ego was completely shattered. I had always found it difficult to motivate people to work on something that I believed was right. But when I had a job, I guess, I had some credibility. Now, unemployed, it is near impossible to make anyone understand that I am right. [may be I should start calling myself an entrepreneur- it might boost my confidence a littleJ] It is very character building, though.

While I was in the process of deciding to quit my job and start ‘selling dreams’, my brother was kind of ‘getting engaged to get engaged’. And in the same call when I told him I would be leaving my job soon, he explained to me how he approached his would-be father-in-law, asking for her[She is from Indore by the way]. That is uncharted water. Much much riskier, I would say. In that very phone conversation, he was recruiting me to talk to our parents [I realized his strategy very lateJ]. I was so excited and privileged to present the unthinkable to my dad. How I did that, probably is worth another story. [Come back to this Blog in a few days J ]

Well, anyway, back to the track. He told me, that it is very much possible that I end up like him. I always had fantasies of having a girlfriend, or rather winning a girlfriend, from extreme adversities. And I have no idea why. I have imagined myself proposing to a girl a thousand times, and she rejecting me all the thousand times. But she would finally say yes. [That’s the whole point right?]. Then the next set of challenges. Family opposition, opposition from society etc. etc. Finally I will emerge as the winner [somehow], convincing everyone that I am right. And then a boring married life.

My brother asked me to imagine how would it be like if something like that happened. And that, now it is time for me to go to her father. By then I would have resigned my job. The company is completely in bad shape. No income. About to get bankrupt. And I am going to her father. Wow. This got to be it. Now I am in my father-in-laws’[Would-be] drawing room, possibly commenting on the furniture. I am a stupid liar too. I would even make up stories like, “you know, that sculpture on the right-top has great significance in Japanese Zen Culture”. Whatever. And then after the coffee is served, my business pitch will start.”Sir, I am here today to talk about something very important. To both of us.” I will take a pause and zip the coffee again, measuring his patience. I wouldn’t say a word until he asks what it is. Now I would lean forward and say “I am here to ask your daughters’ hand in marriage” “BAAANG!!!!”.

Hoping for the best, I am assuming that, he is extremely professional and sophisticated, and very much impressed by my candid nature and courage. But it is his daughter. He cannot show that he is impressed. Now its time for him to ask questions.

“So you are here with a marriage proposal”

“Yes Sir” [My courage quota for that day is over – Only yes or no answers]

“Hmm….. What do you do for a living, by the way?”

“I am a business man sir “

“Really.. I thought you were a high school student”

[I really would want to say “I take that as a compliment. But I am older than I look”. But I am sure that, I would not be able to utter a single word]

“hmmm….so what is your business Mister… what do you sell”

“I sell dreams …Sir” [I am dead]

“You sell ..what…. ?”

“Dreams ….. Sir……I sell …dreams”

Disclaimer: Readers are NOT allowed to use their imagination any further.

The last time when someone said “search- engine stuff”, it was Google ---- Moments -3 [contd]

I have always been into embarrassing situations. Not intentionally. It just happens. But the worst part is not the event itself. The worst part is, I do not feel embarrassed. May be, I was created, while the almighty was extremely bored and thought, “We really need some fun down there.”

I always wanted to be a millionaire. And someone told me, if you want to be one, u got to be around millionaires. The cheapest way is probably to attend seminars and forums, where millionaires come and go.

I started right there. I joined a club, meant only for the rich. And a few days ago, I decided to attend a forum, where a few i-bankers were invited. Well, I got to say; I really like to talk to rich people. The dark side of ambition.

I reached there early, and my costume was a spykar tee-shirt and jeans. [In an event that is about to be filled with investment bankers. Why do I behave these ways?]

Anyways, this is funny. I met with a girl who turned out to be the coordinator of the event. And she did ask me something which I couldn’t really gather, but assumed it like “are you here for the i-bankers meet?” and said “YES”. There was a video camera, its stand, and a few flyers arranged neatly on a table. She asked me “Could you bring those upstairs?”. Though, surprised a little, I said, “Sure Mam”. And once I reached the third floor, she asked, “Could you start setting things up?” . Now I realized, this got to be the next big moment in my life. But for some reason, I decided not to tell her that I was there for attending the meet, and I continued setting up the video camera. [And I had never done it before in my entire life].

The first i-banker came in by then and she started talking to him, explaining how it is going to be. J Time for me to dive in. Carrying the video camera in my hand, and walking very slowly towards them, I asked “Speaking in that context, I really want to be a part of the ENP program that you are offering. How can I get into the next batch?”. I am sure she was surprised by that question. She said “We do check the profile of the applicant, and only if it fits, one will be selected. But first of all, you have to be a member of this club”. J It was my chance. “But mam, I am a member!!!! “.

Enough said. She started apologizing, and then started thanking me before I asked her to help me get into the program.

“Moments Series” is all about pointless stupidity. I never meant to write anything about, dramatic moments. But today I just can’t resist this. Read on.

The event started and continued to the end, without me understanding anything much. [They were not talking about soft wares. They were talking about common sense] . And in the end, it was time for introduction. I have always loved telling my name loud. I have practiced it so much. I know how to pronounce my name in at least ten different ways. Everyone else is talking about their companies and their roles and their vision. They all have so much to talk about. My company is in a very poor condition. And about my role- if we are talking about the work that I do in my company, it would more be of a head-janitor, rather than a CEO. And vision. I find it so hard to make anyone understand my vision. I am really confused. I don’t have anything else to say other than my name. Now the microphone is being passed over and it’s getting very near. These are crazy moments. I even wished someone to miss the sequence and pass the microphone to the next row. [I wish crazy things all the time. It never happens though]

The time came and I went like “-[My Name]---. We started off with a company , couple of weeks back. We call it -----. And we are into search engine [ I guess I did take a pause there ] stuff” .

In reaction to that, the executive director of the club said. “The last time when someone said “search-engine stuff”, it was GOOGLE. “

Have you ever faced the moment, when you know that, a few dozen eyes are on you?

Tactics in a professional world

I want to say this as loudly as I can. This is not a blog meant to demonstrate philosophical concepts. As you all know, the author of this blog is a fake. And fakes do not often make good philosophers. They would rather make good politicians. That is 'Fake Me', in its purest form.
Fake Me has now started giving free tips on how to succeed in this competitive world of professionals. And we start today.

Rule 1 - Politics is not bad. It is just Politics.

First of all, start beliving in this. Consider it as a game. And as with every game, there are rules to be followed. Imagine , positioning yourself in a strategic position, in front of your manager. In front of your managers' manager.
Everything is fair in this game, as long as, you get the right visibility.
So how do we do that? Demonstrate that you are important. Appreciation from your supervisor is good. Appreciation Mail from your foreign client is better. And how do you get that. Simple. Ask for it :-)

We all get opportunities to talk to our clients. We all get chances to help them in one way or other.[It could just be updating one row in a stupid table]. And the client[possibly a business guy] might think you are a born genius. But he may not be proactive enough to say that infront of others. Your job is to motivate him or her to do that.

Being a fake, also has made me shameless. I would ask for anything that I want, to anyone. [I try to do it in a very sophisticated manner, though]. I have dared to ask my client over phone and over a chat tool, for an appreciation mail. He would start like "Hey thanks a lot by the way. Your solution helped me complete the report in time" or "Bingo...you are a magician" or "Woww..... how did you do that" . These are opportunities. I would go like "Thats great.... I'm happy to see that you think high of my work. And I would really appreciate if you could put that in a mail.." Trust me , these are questions for which "No" is not an answer.

Try this a few times. Your client will learn that you really appreciate appreciations :-) And he will learn to be proactive too.

Signals

The one topic that is discussed the most among a gang of boys –“Signals”. Whenever a charming girl needs any help, and whenever she calls upon a boy for whatever she needs, that is a signal. The privileged boy is so excited and everyone else in the gang is so jealous. They really have to be. He is the chosen one, right :-)

And those signals emitted from this very special breed, are so difficult to crack, even with the most sophisticated instruments and for the most intellectual and experienced minds. It is near impossible to make any sense out of it. It obviously seems very straight-forward and simple from the outside. But behind the layer of simplicity lies the most complex web of confusion.

Let’s have a deep look. Today she smiles at you. It obviously means, she likes you and was happy to see you , right. And I am sure, if she is a girl that you like, your heart would pound faster at her smile. Now , even if you do not do anything stupid the complete day, there is no guarantee that she would give the same pretty smile, the next day. In theory of probability, there are always variables attached to any result. A different result, just means, a change in the variable. This theory normally works in every possible scenario. Save this. No matter how hard we try, no matter how honestly we try to keep the variables constant, aspiring for the same result, there is no guaranteed outcome. But that is just not motivating enough to stop us from pursuing.

Recently, I watched a very funny movie named “ Little Manhattan”. It’s about a small kid trying to impress a girl. “loves me…..loves me not” stuff. That poor little boy lives only for her smile. He practices Judo, he goes to music classes, and he studies the most difficult subject just to have an opportunity to teach her the next day. Well it’s not just the little boy. We all do this. Watching out for opportunities just to serve her better.

Do it for the right reason

"Chasing white rabbits", is a phrase that is very famous in Holland, used to point out whether or not one is really enjoying the journey. When, even passionate discussions, go out of the context, when the focus shifts too much from "being here" to "where to", the dutch would say, "we are chasing a white rabbit here". Life is not what we might or might not become tomorrow. Once everything is said and done, life is eventually living for the moment.

And now I understand that, whatever hinders this journey, is a white rabbit. Be it, our jobs, our ego, love, fantacy, friendship ..whatever. We can waste a lot of time, going after things that really do not matter. Chasing someone or something. Things that are really important to us, would come to us. We only need to be what we really are. We all have a few blankets over us. The blanket of ego, the blanket of our beliefs, the blanket that the society wraps us around with. Once we shell out all these, and once we are truely naked, and once we start doing things for the right reasons, things that really matter would find us.